More from Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

Please do not twist yourselves into shapes to please. Don't do it. If someone likes that version of you, that version of you that is false and holds back, then they actually just like that twisted shape, and not you.

CNA

Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

Wellesley College Commencement 2015, 2015

16:44

Video starts at 16:44 — the moment this quote was spoken

The Story Behind This Quote

Adopting the role of honorary 'big sister' to the graduating class, Adichie addressed one of the most pervasive pressures women face worldwide: the expectation to make themselves likeable by reshaping who they are to suit other people. She assured graduates that the world is gloriously multifaceted and diverse enough that there are people who will like the real you, as you are. The advice came with particular emotional weight — Adichie had just shared the harrowing story of her 83-year-old father's kidnapping in Nigeria three weeks earlier, an experience that made her rethink what truly matters.

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