More from Sheryl Sandberg

There are times to lean in and there are times to lean on.

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Sheryl Sandberg

Virginia Tech Commencement 2017, 2017

10:12

Video starts at 10:12 — the moment this quote was spoken

The Story Behind This Quote

This was perhaps the most self-aware line in the entire speech — and one of the most poignant moments in any commencement address. Sandberg had become famous for her book 'Lean In,' which urged women to assert themselves in the workplace, take risks, and claim their seat at the table. But after Dave's death, she learned that relentless self-sufficiency had its limits. She described how, before losing Dave, she had viewed asking for help as 'bothering people.' After his death, she discovered she couldn't survive without leaning on her mother, her friends, her colleagues. The wordplay — 'lean in' versus 'lean on' — acknowledged that her earlier philosophy was incomplete. Strength isn't just about pushing forward; sometimes it's about having the courage to let others carry you.

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